Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED

- We are still pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM

- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION

- We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH

- It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED

- We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE

- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING

- We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED

- The only person who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS

- It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT

- Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL

- Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING

- We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION

- I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS

- Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15. ALL NEW

- Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16. RUGGED

- Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT

- Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT

- One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING

- Achieved when the power switch is off.

20. LOW MAINTENANCE

- Impossible to fix if broken.

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.