Fiction L
A Fake Internet Presence,
since 1994

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Bill Gates goes to Hell

Bill Gates dies and heads up to the pearly gates. St. Peter meets him there and says, "Well, you've led an... interesting life, Bill. To be perfectly honest, we're not quite sure which place to send you. So we're going to let you decide."

Gates swallows nervously and says, "Okay.".

St. Peter snaps his fingers and they are instantly transported to a sunny beach. There's beer and rock music and topless women playing volleyball. Gates says, "Hey, is this heaven? It's GREAT!"

St. Peter says, "No, this is Hell. Let me show you what Heaven is like."

He snaps his fingers again and they are transported to a serene city park. There's a soft breeze and birds are chirping and old people are sitting on benches feeding pigeons and playing chess. Gates says, "Well, this is... nice. But, given a choice, I guess I'll take Hell."

St. Peter says, "You got it.", and snaps his fingers.

Gates is instantly imbedded in molten lava where his skin is flyed off in unspeakable agony. All around him he can hear demonic laughter and the screams of the damned. He looks up and shouts, "Hey, it wasn't like this! Where's the beach? Where's the babes?"

St. Peter looks down from his Macintosh and says, "Sorry, Bill. That was the demo.... "

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

Copyright (C) 2009 Brandon Long. All Rights Reserved. / Terms of Service

The "I work for a big public company" disclaimer:
The views expressed on these pages are mine alone and not those of my employer.
I am not now, nor have I ever been employed to speak for anyone.
Well, except my own company, but that's gone now.