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Date: Tue, 27 Jan 1998 22:50:44 -0600 (CST)
From: Barton Warner (warner at
Subject: Computer Chickens (fwd)

How Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

It depends on the type of chicken.

NT Chicken
Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken
It crossed the road years ago, but who wants a big, blue, slow chicken?

Windows 95 Chicken
You see differently colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

Amiga Chicken
There are multiple chickens, crossing many roads at the same time, but they were, unfortunately, marketed as frogs.

OOP Chicken
It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken
First it builds the road ...

C Chicken
It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken
The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken

Delphi Chicken
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, this is a chicklet.)

Web Chicken
Jumps out onto the road, turns right and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken
Tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken
Can't cluck, can't fly and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken
The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

Lotus Chicken
Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do!

Macintosh Chicken
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road; so there's no way to tell it to.

COBOL Chicken

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.

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