Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline!

If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are Codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have Multiple Personalities, please press 3,4,5,and 6.

If you are Paranoid-Delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.