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Love Boat Enterprise
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Bald Captain Bald Captain
Black Bartender Black Bartender
Young Vicki is related to a Young Wesley is related to a crewmember
crewmember and works on the ship and works on the ship
Ship's doctor is a main character Ship's doctor is a main character
Julie the cruise director is sexy Troi the ship's councelor is sexy but
but annoying annoying
Actors stand in front of screen, Actors stand in front of screen,
upon which is projected background upon which is projected background
of open sea of open space
A dumping ground for second-rate A dumping ground for second-rate
washed-up guest stars washed-up guest stars
Going to strange new ports-of-call Going to strange new worlds
Cheesy opening song Cheesy opening song
Too many scenes of self-indulgent Too many scenes of self-indulgent
crap in the lounge crap in the holodeck
Socially retarded character with Socially retarded character with
job description for name (Gopher) job description for name (Data)
In late-night syndication In late-night syndication
Bad 2-hour pilot Bad 2-hour pilot
Love Boat has lifeboats and Enterprise has shuttlecrafts and
flotation devices detaching saucer section
Scenes linked by ship shots Scenes linked by ship shots
One character inexplicably replaced, One character inexplicably replaced,
then returned (Julie) then returned (Crusher)
After-the-fact bed scenes with After-the-fact bed scenes with
pointless discussion pointless discussion
Captain straightens uniform when Captain straightens uniform when
disgusted/angry/nervous disgusted/angry/nervous
Final scene takes place on loading Final scene takes place on transporter;
dock; crew waves goodbye crew waves goodbye
Aaron Spelling rules with iron fist, Gene Roddenberry rules with iron fist,
annoying die-hard fans annoying die-hard fans
At conventions, everyone is dressed At conventions, everyone is dressed
like Dr. Adam Bricker like Mr. Spock
Isaac the Bartender has useless Captain Picard has useless gesture,
gesture, pointing slightly forward pointing slightly forward
Intercrew friction always resolved Intercrew friction always resolved
within allotted 1 hour time slot within allotted 1 hour time slot
Note: I'm not the author, these tidbits were all forwarded to me via
email. Where I know the author, it is given.
The From: header may be the author, or it may just be the person who
forwarded it to me.
Feel free to contact me to claim authorship.